If you wanna grow up to paint houses like me

"Don't call what you're wearing an outfit,

don't ever say your car is broke.

Don't worry bout losing your accent,

cause a southern man tells better jokes."

        As a little boy at a loss to define the word "job," I have found out that this ain't no cake walk.  I keep on searching for something that was molded by hand with a place card in front with my name in cursive.  A place setting that will last until my days are numbered and I'm forced to live out my life on this old porch.  But as with anything that takes a decision and persistence, time is a som-bitch.  The longer I am forced to sit and wait for responses, my head fills with second thoughts and the fear that maybe this just isn't what I am looking for.

        Escaping the mundane is my plan, but then I sit and think about work.  The word itself, terrifying.  From what any greying man or crows-footed woman has ever told me, work isn't supposed to be fun.  It is some absurd situation where everyone thinks they have it the worse, where other people's 'work' is way easier.  Some always threaten to quit, other always talk about how much better life would have been had they chosen a different career path.  Needless to say, it is these folks that have cast a shadow over my optimism.

Now I'm not sure if I'm just a spoiled little child, thinking that things are going to happen, and life will grace me as opposed to everyone else.  But at this point, why bother to care.  Its tough to be the one guy dumb enough to sit back and let life happen to me, but right now, its all I can do.  Maybe I'm afraid to take a step out, too worried that the first step will be in a big pile of shit.  Maybe I'm worried that if I spend all my time worrying about a job that life will slip by.  As with every maybe in life, its probably a combination of the two. Somewhere in this mangled mess lies an answer.    

And if anyone finds that place setting, let me know.  I'll be waiting.

"Have fun and stay clear of the needle,

call home on your sister's birthday.

Don't tell em you're bigger than Jesus,

don't give it away."- 'Outfit' by Drive by Truckers

© blake jackson